New York, NY - Life is about relationships: building them, cultivating them, mending them, nurturing them. Relationships, it turns out, are the fundamentals of work.
In America, it seems work comes first, then relationships come after. Elsewhere, relationships come first—work follows suit. When I was a health educator with an international health organization, I worked in a small village in Mali promoting prevention practices like washing hands with soap in village conditions where soap was sometimes a luxury. My supervisors told me I had to first learn to be accepted as a member of the village. I had to be credible and ‘integrated’ in the village before the information I dispensed could be perceived as credible.
Throughout two years in Mali, I spent more time building trust and ‘street credibility’ through attendance at village weddings, funerals, births and tea conversations than I was ‘doing my job’ which was teaching prevention tips on malaria and malnutrition at the health centers. It turned out spending time at weddings and at tea was a part of the job of building trust. Being good at my work meant I couldn’t do it alone on the merit of the information I presented. I had to pay time and pay with relationship capital.
On this side of the Atlantic, a job search depends on paying relationships dues. It is best to build relationships all throughout one’s career(s) and not just now when one is looking for a job. When the relationship groundwork is laid out before a need or favor arises (for example, when you are requesting a contact to get you an informational interview) the chances are greater that the person in your relationship will come to assistance. The key is to be seen as the kind of person someone thinks of when a job opportunity comes to his mind. You come to mind because you are a relationship person.
To be a relationship person means attending to the events of life and honoring others with your time. Attending a wedding is one way. Saying hello and good-bye upon entering a social scene is another (showing good manners is priceless). Inquiring about the health of partners and remembering children’s name are others. Relationships may yield jobs or they may not. The point to be made is that they give evidence to how good you are at building and maintaining them.
Can the below testify to your Relationship Savvy?
- Your co-workers
- Your doorman or doorwoman of your building
- Your priest or pastor
- Your barista or whomever you go for coffee
- Your gym attendant or trainer
And so forth…
Photo by RaeA. Creative Commons License
http://flickr.com/photos/raeallen/
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